My BOOKS

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Teacher Misery: Helicopter Parents, Special Snowflakes & Other Bullshit

Teacher Misery perfectly encapsulates the comical misery that has become the teaching profession. Jane Morris's strange, funny, and sometimes unbelievable teaching experiences are told through a collection of short stories, essays, and artifacts including real emails from parents, students, and administrators.

 

 

From the parents who blame their son's act of arson on the teacher for causing him low self-esteem, to the student who offers to teach the teacher how to sell drugs so she can pay her bills, to the administrator whose best advice is to "treat kids like sacks of shit,"  one story is more shocking than the next.

 

 

An important book for teachers and non-teachers alike, Teacher Misery paints an amusing and thoroughly entertaining picture of what has become of our education system, without detracting from the overall point that what teachers have to put up with today is complete, utter, unacceptable insanity.

Teacher Misery
 
More Teacher Misery:
Nutjob Teachers, Torturous trainings & even more bullshit
 

More Teacher Misery is the second volume in the bestselling Teacher Misery series! In More Teacher Misery Morris tackles even more of the hilarious, unbelievable and completely absurd experiences of teachers around the country. With topics such as pointless professional development where the author learned how to make bird noises, insanely incompetent teachers who make the good ones look bad, the shit parades that are parent conferences, lack of discipline even for kids who attack people with weapons, outrageous parent requests such as checking the size and color of a teenager’s poop, this follow-up to the wildly popular memoir Teacher Misery does not disappoint!

Think the stuff in Teacher Misery was insane? Just wait til you read More Teacher Misery!

What It's Really Like:
 Outrageous Stories from Teachers Around the Country
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From the bestselling author of Teacher Misery, comes a collection of outrageous stories from other teachers. In this book you’ll find a bit of everything including the usual helicopter parents and awful administration, horrendous student behavior with no consequences, and crazy-ass parents and their insane requests. But you’ll also find weirdly entertaining stories about a little kid with a foot fetish, a group of teachers chasing a naked kid around the school parking lot, and two pregnant sisters fighting over the same baby daddy on the first day of school. There’s plenty of gross stuff, like all the strange places kids put their poop and dirty maxi pads, a Barbie in a butthole, and kids who masturbate in class and hump desks. Unlike her other books, Morris included a sprinkling of tales that will break your heart and a few that will give you the warm and fuzzies we all need to keep going. This book is hilarious, shocking, heartwarming, sad, gross, and sometimes inspiring because that is what teaching is really like.

2020-2021
Teacher misery planner

Every teacher needs a planner for the coming school year. But most planners are kinda, ya know, cheesy. The author of Teacher Misery sought to create a useful, simple academic planner, filled with her particular brand of sarcasm and dark humor. Each monthly spread (August 2020 through July 2021) contains an overview of the month with a sarcastic quote. The weekly spreads include space to write your lesson plans for each subject (up to 7) for the entire week and a place to write notes or complaints. After each month is a fun article, activity or poster, such as Faculty Meeting Bingo (and a Virtual Staff Meeting version), a pros and cons list for quitting at the end of the year, and even a personal letter from the author. This is not a planner for the perfect Pinterest teacher. This is for the jaded, burnt-out teachers who need a damn laugh wherever they can get it! This is the NSFW version. For the Safe for Work version, see below!

2020-2021
Teacher misery planner
(safe for work)
 
 
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