Wednesday, September 19, 2012

I was lucky enough to be CC'd on this little gem!


From: "Muriel’s" Dad
To: School Principal, Registrar
CC: English teacher, Muriel’s Mom, lawyer
Subject: Course selection

Dear Sir,
We are writing on behalf of our daughter "Muriel." Muriel wants very much to take the Advanced Shakespeare course, and registered last year for it. We have been informed by her counselor that the class is being cancelled because only two other students signed up for it. Muriel is extremely let down and we feel that it is unfair to cancel a class due to low enrollment. As tax payers in this county, we expect the highest level of education available for our children. The class is offered at her school and is listed in the course catalog as available this semester, so Muriel should be allowed to take it. If the class does not take place this semester, we will be involving our lawyer on the grounds that our daughter is being robbed of her right to a fair and equal education.

Thank you for your cooperation,
Muriel’s dad

Friday, September 14, 2012

How dare you give our son a B?


To: Journalism Advisor
From: "Rolf’s" Parents
Title: Our son Rolf’s Grade in your class

Dear ______,
How dare you give our son “Rolf” a B in your journalism class? Obviously you cannot recognize the makings of a brilliant writer. When re-calculating Rolf’s grade, we came to realize that most of the weight of his grade rested upon a single writing assignment. We read this assignment carefully and were impressed with what we saw. Clearly his work, which you gave a C, merited an A. We took it to a friend of ours who is a Global Distinguished Professor of Journalism at "Some Fancy University" and who formerly worked for a very prestigious newspaper. He agreed that Rolf’s paper merited an A.
With this in mind, we request that you complete a grade change form for Rolf as soon as possible to give him the grade that he undoubtedly deserves.
Thank you for your attention in this matter,
Rolf’s Parents 


Thursday, September 13, 2012

Rate My Teacher.com


Just like an adult, kids have a very public forum online to express their opinions about whatever they choose. Yet unlike many adults, they lack the tact and ability to think critically about the impact their comments can have. Take for example the website called ratemyteachers.com. This is a very popular website where anyone in the world can look up a teacher by name or by school and see what people have posted anonymously about them. It not only rates their performance but it rates their popularity. Until recently it actually rated their “hotness” as well. The site also gives anyone the chance to comment on a teacher’s performance with absolutely no filter. You are not required to log in or enter your name or email address to post a comment. As of 2012, ratemyteachers.com has over 15 million ratings for more than 11 million teachers.
            According to the site, all comments are reviewed and approved by volunteer moderators to ensure they are consistent with the site's rules or guidelines before they are posted on the website. I’m not sure who is moderating and what they are removing, because it seems that you can pretty much write whatever you like and it will appear shortly after. This and websites like it give young people, who lack the maturity to be able to properly rate their educators, a place to be angry and inappropriate. Thankfully, I have only been rated a few times and they are mostly positive comments. But I have coworkers who work very hard and are quite dedicated and they have been decimated on this website.
            For example, a very devoted teacher who typically stays at school until 8 o’clock at night grading papers and working on lesson plans has gotten several nasty comments because she is a “hard grader.” Kids have written the following comments: “She is rude and picks on students just to satisfy her horrible heart; she is useless as a teacher; worst teacher I've ever had, our whole class hates her; she manages to say nothing understandable in an hour; I have no respect for her; the work is stupid and she is stupid; a terrible teacher and a terrible person; should be in a mental asylum.” Whether or not these statements are true, it is unfair for students to be able to say such abusive things and have it stay on the internet forever. When you Google a teacher’s name you are almost sure to find quotes from ratemyteachers.com on the front page, which can affect a person’s career and life endlessly. Many students write absolutely nothing productive and merely express their emotions towards the teacher as a person such as, “I dislike you highly; I hate her with a fiery passion; total female dog;” or just “I hate you.” Some teachers are called morons, idiots, senile or simply told to shut up.
            But what can be even more hurtful are the comments you receive when you are an attractive teacher. A coworker of mine happens to be very beautiful. Her ratings include comments such as, “She’s like really pretty; she’s the bait (slang for sexy); so hawt (hot) etc.” This really embarrasses her. Her online ratings aren’t the only inappropriate things she encounters. She gets disgusting anonymous emails from students that describe what they want to do to her. She even had students throw condoms at her every time she turned around to write on the board. Sadly, yet not surprisingly, she is one of the 50% of teachers that will be leaving the profession.
            But before she does, will she create ratemystudents.com or ratemyadministrators.com or ratemyhorriblyabusiveworkplace.com? I doubt it. Most parents, administrators and school boards wouldn’t stand for that kind of public platform for abuse and slander.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Cone of shame!

Florida teacher faces firing for placing ‘cone of shame’ on students 

Pasco County school officials caught Zephyrhills High teacher Laurie Bailey-Cutkomp using a cone-shaped dog collar dubbed “the cone of shame” to punish misbehaving students after some teens posted photos on Facebook last month.
Parents saw the embarassing pics and complained, the Tampa Bay Times reported.

Ninth-graders at the west Florida school said the 47-year-old science teacher and former veterinarian fastened the "cone of shame" on students who arrived late or acted up in class.
"I was in second period. I was drinking soda, and she said, 'Do I have to put the cone on you?'" one unidentified girl said in a statement to the school board.
"I didn't say anything and she put it on me."
Bailey-Cutkomp brought the cone to school after showing students the Pixar movie "Up" during a slow day before spring break, the Times reported.
The 2009 flick featured a dopey dog named Dug who is forced to wear a "cone of shame" — in reality, a plastic collar that prevents animals from licking their wounds after surgery — as punishment.
Bailey-Cutkomp was booted from the classroom and is awaiting a school board hearing to determine whether she'll be fired.
"I am stunned that you would put dog collars on students for any reason," Pasco County schools superintendent Heather Fiorentino said in a letter, according to the newspaper.
Students said Bailey-Cutkomp placed“the cone of shame” on students who arrived late or misbehaved.
Bailey-Cutkomp, who has been teaching full-time since 2002, told school officials that the collar was meant to be a joke and she didn't mean to hurt or embarrass anyone.
Some of her students backed her up.
"Whatever mistake Ms. Bailey-Cutkomp made, it was a mistake that I doubt she will make again," ninth-grade teacher James Washington said in a letter to the school board.
"Furthermore, what I have witnessed at ZHS certainly makes me believe that she has much to offer the students."
A school board hearing on the matter hasn't been scheduled yet.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

I weep for our future

The first little assignment I gave to my 12th graders was to bring in a book which changed the way they view the world or impacted them in a significant way. The following titles were brought in:

And several brought in nothing, saying that they have either never read a whole book, or have never been impacted in any way by a book.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Fucking Geniuses

Today was fun. One of my students pointed out that his desk had a penis drawn on it and the words, "mastrubate erryday." I'm pretty sure he did it, because I think I would have noticed something like that beforehand.

Another student actually stapled a paper to his forehead in study hall.

I also received an EMAIL from a student asking for my EMAIL ADDRESS.

Welcome back to school everyone.



Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Snowflake parent email

It is the first week of school. A parent of an Advanced Placement student sent the following email before I even met his child:

To: English teacher
From: Snowflake parent
Subject: Summer Reading

Hello.It is the night before school begins and I am extremely concerned for my son. He just noticed today that he had a summer reading assignment that is due on the first day of class. The assignment was to read a 350 page book in preparation for an in-class essay. Although my son did receive the paper in the mail which explains the AP summer reading assignment, he only read the front of the paper which described the world history assignment. He completely missed the other side which outlined the literature assignment. My son is a hardworking student and should not be penalized on the first day for an honest mistake. I am asking that you make an exception and excuse him from the first assignment.

Thank you so much for your understanding,
Ridiculous parent




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